Once upon a time, my social life didn't involve a school bus.
But I never, ever, thought I'd long for the days when the school bus was filled with kids.
Because nothing says hot mama with a cool social life like hopping into the Senior Center bus with your mother-in-law to catch a show in town. On a Friday night.
But that's the kind of crazy, fun-loving chick I am now.
I just wish they hadn't felt the need to park the Senior Center Bus (did I already mention it was a Senior Center Bus? Because that was important.) directly next to the line of naked 20 year olds (Seriously. In my day, dearie, we covered up those tooshies, and not by suffocating them with Lycra, either!) waiting to get into one of the hottest night clubs in town.
Because even under the most ordinary circumstances, my life is humiliating enough. I don't need snooty young things staring in horror as a busload of seniors unloads onto the sidewalk next to them while the bossy bus lady yells at us not to get up before the final curtain (what are we, 12?), and to be back promptly at 11 or the bus would leave without us.
But you know what was the worst part? I had the bestest time.
Embracing my inner (well, let's face it - outer, too) dork.
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33 comments:
Yup - glad you had a great time - you sure look like it!! And all those nude 20 somethings will be waking up with sore heads, absolutely appalled at the way they feel anf Omigod!! What did I do last night!!!
(No personal experience of this whatsoever! NONONONO)
Is he wearing a cup?
What Marie said...
It's all I can do in public not to be walking up to teens and 20-something girls and saying things like, "Dearie, all the boys are looking at your chest" or "You might think you're one of the guys, but you're embarrassing yourself" or "Does your mother know who you're out with dressed like that?"
Holy codpiece Batman!
Glad you had fun, though ...
That cracked me the hell up. Way toooooooooo funny!
First the yarn, now the show, what is it with Cameron Diaz getting into all your pictures!!
(is that joke getting old yet?)
Was the show Mamma Mia? If yes, (a) how fabulous! and (b) I've seen it twice. Once with my parents! (who loved it!) and (c) is codpiece guy Man? Because if so, why yes, he is a Man alright!
what fun! Like RR said, was it Mama Mia? God I loved that show. I cried. Tragic huh? Definitely a dork, too, just like you. :-)
Gawd da-ym! He is a rather, ahem, large man isnt he....
What was the post about, I forget, the codpiece (yeah, I had to type that twice, kept getting it wrong *snigger*) is burned in my retina... oh yeah, old people, bus, young things nekid....
Sounds like a fab night. I would have tried to drag the oldies into the club!
Kelley
http://magnetoboldtoo.wordpress.com
That picture gives it all away!
Marie's comment totally cracked me up, too.
Heidi :)
I must be getting old, because the thought of riding on the Senior Bus is a lot more appealing than talking to 20-somethings. They don't even know what "Oy, my lumbago!" MEANS, much less enjoy bitching about it for hour upon hour.
What a great story! Is that your mother-in-law on the right?
Boy, if that is what the costumes from "Mamma Mia" do for a guy, let me get one for my man! Maybe it's a fake...gotta be! I'm in agreement with Marie!!
Yep, going on the bus with the Senior Citizens is a bit much - prelude to Geritol! Glad you survived!
My own bus trip memories are somewhat different: my mom used to take me with her when she went on bus trips to Windsor, Canada, with my British war-bride great-aunt.
The bus was chartered by a group of ex-pat war brides, who used to go to Canada to stock up on Cadbury biscuits and Lyle's golden syrup, which goodies Aunt I. introduced to my mom and me.
I remember them singing "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" on the way home in the dark, and eating fish & chips at the chip shops in Windsor. *sigh*
Damn! Everyone already got in the, um, package joke, leaving nothing for me. Glad it was fun!
A blast.
PS can Bossy have Rose Red's shoes now?
wow. I can only hope to aspire to the wonderful life you seem to lead. Don't you feel sorry for the nekkid girls? Think of the frostbite!
As you must know, I'd kill for that Senior Bus right now.
Looks like that genteleman was embracing his outer-self too!
awesome post!! Every sentence a laugh. Great job!!
It's a slippery slope from the night life to the yoga class. I'm just sayin'.
This was hilarious.
The important thing is that you had fun. And that none of your friends saw you.
WOW! This is too funny! Mama Mia tickets, a working camera AND a well-posed close-up with the Solid Gold Dancers? Priceless! YOU. ARE.THE.BEST.DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.EVER!!!!
Party on Mad Mad because you are a ROCK STAR!!!!!
He definitely had extra padding in there, methinks.
Those seniors get to go to all the best places! And I commend you for not having to wear sunglass near that much shiny fabric.
I'm so freakin' jealous! I tell my granny all the time that I wanna go with her on her senior trips - they go gambling and to 4pm dinners - how cool!! =)
Wow. You get to party like a rock star with all the old grannies. All mine does is play bingo in smoke-filled church basements. Wanna trade?
Wow--looks like a FABULOUS time... and those 20 somethings were just jealous, because you look fabu!
If you said that to one of the naked ones they would say --"really? cool!"
I found your blog off of another's site... what a wonderful post.
And Dang, that is quite the ding dong!
Glad you had fun, and someday the 20 somethings will look back and say what was I thinking?
You know what's a scream? Aside from the whole post, the Here It Is!! codpiece, the satin and sequins, and the Bus Trip With No Alcohol - - - those 20 somethings will have been dancing to at least 6 remixed ABBA tunes and telling themselves how much cooler they are than the seniors next door!!!
ps v v jealous that you've seen it - in fact, v v v jealous of anyone who has seen it ever!!! have ABBA songs going through my head just at the thought of it all **dancing queen, dig it, the dancing queen, oh yeah **
You look like you had a great time! Hey, we dorks have our fun, too. ;-)
Mamma Mia! I LOVED that show! Glad you had a great time, but really -- the Senior Center Bus? Did the other seniors enjoy the show?
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